Kerry Katona

Seeing we are discussing wide vagina's, why not talk about the infamous crack addict Katona. A news of the world advert featuring Kerry Katona came on where she said she will reveal all in this Sundays edition. Now why would I care about this has been pop singer who got addicted to crack and got beat up by her sadistic husband (as was featured in the advert).

Every time I hear that distorted scouse accent of hers, it makes me wonder how enjoyable it would be gagging her with my 9 inch penis to the point it would make her sound posh with my pears in her mouth. But obviously I dont have a 9 inch penis and I wouldn't wish facial abuse upon anybody, but it irritates me when people in this godforsaken country take interest in peoples lives to the extend that they will purchase a newspaper publication to satisfy their depressing uneventful lives. Katona has the wit of a willow ptarmigan and the forehead of a pole, come on people WHO THE FUCK IS SHE? Now that I have completed my rant, it is time to put this monster behind me and move on just like my psychiatrist ordered.

Katie Price

Katie Price, AKA Katrina Amy Alexandria Alexis Infield Price, AKA Jordan, AKA ThatSlagWithHugeKnockersAndAShitLoadOfMoneyForNoFuckingReason is probably the most famous, talentless, and idiotic MILF on the planet, with the biggest boobs EVER! But I do sometimes wonder, how wide is her vagina? Let's look at it logically. She's had so many guys up in her, Teddy Sheringham (footballer), Gareth Gates (the fag that keeps s-s-stuttering), Warren Furman (from that shitty show The Gladiator)and some guy from an unknown band, not to mention all the nobodies shes shagged in her life. its shocking. The first guy she had a child with was a black man(must I say more?). Then there was Peter Andre, who is kinda black? I dont really know, but she did have 2 babies with him, so he must have found a way to pleasure that insanely large punani. So there it is, 2 footballers, 2 musicians and a "Gladiator". Epic Vajayjay Destruction.

Even though her twat probably looks like rotten fig, it doesn't change the fact that she's Jordan, I would defo shag her. Don't know if my weener would be detected by her cunt, or whether I'll be able to satisfy her with my forearm. There is one thing I do know, shagging her saggy vagina(if it still is classified as one) will make me a happy man..

Cherio!

Craig David

Craig Fucking David. UN Goodwill Ambassador against tuberculosis? Who The Fuck Are You to be an ambassador? If I remember correctly, your last good-ish hit was created over 9 years ago. Where you just spoke of 7 days with an imaginary woman, we all know you don't get any pussy. You need to stick to being a mediocre performer in the only country you were successful in, Belgium. And we all know that Belgium is a shithole. Now quit taking the piss out of the poor people that have tuberculosis, leave the campaign to the artists that sell their tracks, Jay-Z perhaps, or maybe James Blunt, but never you, Craig. I would have thought that you're 7 year break from the music industry would have given you a chance to reflect on yourself. Maybe look in the mirror and realise the extremity of your facial deformities. Seriously, check out his chin. Fucking Faggot.



Cherio!

Whats the real deal with East Asian Youtubers?

OK, you seriously have no idea how irritated I am with the rise of these so called Asian comedians who are in general observational and are products of the new generation of college humour 'movementarians' as The Simpsons would bluntly potray as an evil brainwashing cult. College humour is at a new high in the United States in particular and it may be innovative and creative in many critics views, but I simply do not understand how such complete trash can be branded funny. Where is the talent where these comedians have such time to prepare a joke, use high end editing software to perfect the video cuts and what grants them the right to waste my time? Especially these East Asian comedians such as NigaHiga an overconfident, wholly irritating little prat, who if not for his Youtube subscription landmark record of 2 million would not even be worth a mention, but as it happens I will mention him. He posts short clips of him with videos entitled 'The Snuggo".. The Snuggo, yes you heard right, somehow his unsuccessful attempt at a sort of observational stand up comedy makes people want to subscribe to him. I say I've heard it all, his contribution to comedy is not even a footnote in my thesis, its weak and these Asian Americans who have been influenced by him are no better, I say bring a stop to College humour and the rise of these East Asian so called Cyber comedians and just as in The Simpson Springfield's citizens in the episode The Joy of Sect" the cults populace is led by a man known as 'The leader', where the analogy here is that NigaHiga is leading a movement of over excited, subconscious Asian teens into the cyber wilderness with their brandished, in your face, often predictive brand of humour. Stop now before you are critically slaughtered.

Who The Fuck Am I?

Simple, I'm Mosaeva. I have a GCSE in History, my favourite pass time is scratching my balls... only joking, I'm actually a regular reader of current affairs publications such as The Economist, Vanity Fair Magazine and am thoroughly aware of the tidings of the sphere. I also contribute on Livejournal, so I am familiar with the whole blogging phenomenon and the opinionated nature of it all. I am a critically acclaimed individual, I like to give my thoughts on everything ranging from bills passed in the US Senate to motions passed in the House of Lords to the latest on celebrity gossip. I particularly take a dislike to over payed and overrated creatures of the media and all those associated with it, be it sport,show business. I don't like the idea of over complicating my blogs (I'm not writing a dissertation) I do like to simplify and I am at times an introspective person. Anyway, I am also crude and brutally honest so expect much critical assesment of practically everything. You could say I am an evil cunt.

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus was a name I had never heard, until I saw her on Friday night with Jonathan Ross. My first impression was that she's just another teen, then I heard her speak. That inbred red neck accent sent shivers down my spine. Her buck toothed, thin eyebrows, overly painted face irritated me to the extent that I had to go on her youtube profile and insult her to such an extreme that youtube closed my account.

"She's just a kid!" you may be saying. But look at her, shes a child who's making more money then me, you, and every single one of your possible fathers put together. Fucking whore.

I'd still shag her though.

"Who the fuck are you?" is what you may be asking yourselves right now.

Who the fuck are we? We are young men, out of employment due to the recession, and incapable of getting an education, simply because we are iliterate, which has caused us to have too much time on our hands.

In these blogs, we will be discussing/insulting every topic the world has to offer. From celebs to politics, none will be left out. We will also be including rants about our lives. "Why?" you may ask. Well, as I said earlier, it's because we have too much time on our hands. Fucking retard.

Anyway, Mosaeva, who will also be contributing to this blog, and I, would like to welcome you to this new blog, I hope you enjoy our discussions and look forward to hearing from you. Cherio.

Jesus.

Oh, by the way, feel free to contact us with info on people you dont like for us to roast, don't be shy kids!